Madhara ya kufanya mapenzi na mwanamke aliye katika hedhi kwa mwanaume

1. Kupata maambukizi katika njia ya mkojo hadi kwenye kibofu. 
2. Maambukizi katika tezi dume (Prostetits) hii inaweza kuathiri mfumo wa uzazi wa mwanaume. 
3. Kuziba kwa njia ya mkojo. 
4. Utasa au ugumba. 
5. Ulegevu wa misuli ya uume na upungufu wa nguvu za kiume. 
6. Athari mbaya ya kisaikolojia kwa kuwa anafanya tendo katika mazingira machafu hali itakayompelekea kutolifurahia tendo kutokana na hali ya umaji maji, utelezi au harufu kali na mbaya na hivyo kuona kuwa mwanamke ni mchafu.

Na Cray Johnson

Usimhukumu mtu bila kumsikiliza, mpe nafasi kwanza.

Kuna mwalimu wa shule moja ya sekondari alikuwa amezoea kumchapa viboko mwanafunzi mmoja mchelewaji. Mwanafunzi huyu alikuwa akichelewa kipindi cha kwanza kila siku. Hivyo, siku ambazo mwalimu huyu alikuwa na kipindi cha kwanza, mwanafunzi huyu alikuwa anachapwa kwanza kabla ya kuingia darasani. Hali hii iliendelea kwa muda mrefu. Wiki moja ilipita bila yule mwanafunzi kuonekana shuleni.

Wiki lililofuata yule mwanafunzi alifika shuleni mapema sana kabla ya mwanafunzi mwingine yeyote. Mwalimu yule alipomwona alifurahi sana. Alipoingia darasani alimwita yule mwanafunzi na kumsifia sana mbele ya darasa. "Rose, simama. Darasa, Mpigieni makofi "Rose" kwa sababu leo kawa wa kwanza kufika shuleni. Kumbe fimbo zile zimesaidia enhe"

Wanafunzi walipiga makofi huku wengine wakimcheka huyo "Rose". Baada ya wanafunzi kumcheka na kumfanyia dhihaka Rose alimwomba mwalimu ampe nafasi aseme jambo. Mwalimu akamruhusu.

Kwa sauti ya upole akasema, "Mwalimu, siku zote nilizokuwa nikichelewa kufika shule nilikuwa namuuguza mama yangu. Baba yangu alifariki kabla sijazaliwa. Nimelelewa na mama yangu tu. Simjui ndugu yeyote. Mama yangu alipokumbwa na maradhi alipelekwa hospitalini lakini maradhi yake hayakuonekana. Akaruhusiwa kurudi nyumbani akiwa na dawa za kutuliza maumivu tu. Kwa sababu hatuna pesa, hakuweza kupelekwa popote kwa vipimo zaidi." Rose alifuta machozi yaliyoanza kutiririka mashavuni, akamtizama Mwalimu wake kusha akaendelea; "Hivyo kwa kipindi chote nilichokua namuuguza mama, nilitakiwa kufanya usafi wa nyumba, kuchota maji, kumsafisha mama yangu, kumwandalia chakula chake kabla ya kuja shuleni." Rose alinyamaza kidogo kisha akaendelea; "Lakini leo nimewahi kwa sababu mama yangu alifariki wiki lililopita. Kwa hiyo kilichokuwa kinanichelewesha kimeondoka ndo maana leo nimewahi shuleni." Baada ya hapo Rose hakuweza kuongea tena. Taratibu akakaa kitini huku akilia kwa kwikwi. Darasa zima liligeuka mahala pa msiba na simanzi kuu.

FUNZO: Usimhukumu mtu bila kumpa nafasi ya kumsikiliza.!

Je, kuangalia picha za ngono ni dhambi? Vitabu vya dini vinatuambia nini?

Neno la Msingi: 

Zaburi 101:3

“Sitaweka mbele ya macho yangu Neno la uovu. Kazi yao waliopotoka naichukia, Haitaambatana nami.”

Watu wengi wameanguka katika mtego huu wa Ibilisi na kujikuta wakifanya mambo ya "AIBU" wanapokuwa sehemu zao za Siri iwe ni chumbani au bafuni. Wanaume wamejikuta wakipiga punyeto (Mastubation) na Wanawake wakijisaga ( wanatumia mikono yao na viungo vyao vingine kama njia ya kujikidhi hali zao za tamaa mbaya waliloziamsha wao wenyewe). Haipaswi kamwe kuwa hivyo. Biblia inasema tusiyachochee wala kuyaamsha "mapenzi" mpaka yatakavyoona yenyewe (Wimbo ulio bora 2:7, 3:5). Naomba tufuatane pamoja kwenye somo hili muhimu sana ambalo litakuweka huru mbali na "utumwa wa fikra za kingono"

1. MAANA YA PICHA ZA NGONO

Neno PICHA ni kivuli cha mtu, watu, kitu n.k. PICHA si kitu halisi bali ni kivuli chake. Unaweza ukapewa PICHA ya mtu lakini usifahamu urefu wake au ni mfupi kiasi gani lakini sura yake ukawa umeiweka katika kumbukumbu yako. NGONO ni kitendo cha mtu, watu kufanya kitendo cha kujamiana (Tendo la Ndoa) na pia ni ile hali ya kuwa uchi wa mnyama. Kuangalia picha za ngono ni kitendo cha kuangalia watu wakifanya Matendo ya kujamiana iwe kwa njia ya asili, kinyume na maumbile au kufanya na wanayama. Kitendo hicho huleta kuchochea tamaa ya miili kiasi ambacho watu wengine hufanya mambo ya "AIBU" katika nyumba zao (Warumi 1:24-28). PICHA za NGONO zimeenea kila mahali kwa sasa, kwenye simu yako unaweza ukakutana na "uchafu" wa namna hiyo. Wahindi wao picha za ngono huziita "kachumbali" na unaweza ukamkuta Mhindi amekaa na familia yake anaangalia "kachumbali" wanadai inanogesha utamu wanapofika kitandani. Huko ni kujidanganya Mungu hakumletea Adamu PICHA ya NGONO bali alimletea mke ambaye watashirikiana naye kwenye Tendo Takatifu (Mwanzo 2:18, 21-25). Wakati mmoja Mfalme Daudi wakati watu wake wa vita wamekwenda vitani yeye akawa yuko ghorofani anaangalia "PICHA LIVE" ya NGONO mwanamke alikuwa akioga matokeo yake yakawa ni kufanya kitendo chenyewe na kuamua kumuua mume wa Bathsheba (2Samweli 11:2-27).

“Ikawa wakati wa jioni, Daudi akaondoka kitandani, akatembea juu ya dari ya jumba la mfalme; na alipokuwa juu ya dari aliona mwanamke anaoga; naye huyo mwanamke alikuwa mzuri sana, wa kupendeza macho. Naye Daudi akapeleka, akauliza habari za yule mwanamke. Mtu mmoja akasema, Je! Huyu siye Bath-sheba, binti Eliamu, mkewe Uria, Mhiti?”...........

Kile kitendo cha Daudi "kuona" lilikuwa kosa kubwa la kiufundi katika akili yake likamchanganya. Ndivyo ilivyo kwa PICHA ZA NGONO lazima ukiangalia upate "UKICHAA" wa muda ukajikuta umeng'ang'ania sabuni au ndizi ukiwa unapiga punyeto. Ni aibu sana sana mtu mwenye heshima zako kama wewe labda wewe ni meneja, mkurugenzi, mtu mwenye Elimu yako ya maana unakutwa unaangaika sabuni, godoro au toy la jinsia ya kiume.

2. JE! KUANGALIA PICHA ZA NGONO NI DHAMBI?

Kuangalia picha za ngono "NI DHAMBI" kwa herufi kubwa. Katika Sheria ya Musa ilikuwa mtu anahesabika kuwa ametenda dhambi pale ambapo atakutwa akifanya kitendo hicho au kukiwa na mashahidi wawili au watatu atatakiwa kuhukumiwa sawasawa na Sheria husika. Kwenye dhambi ya uzinzi mtu alitakiwa apigwe mawe hadi afe sivyo kwa Sheria ya Kristo yenyewe inazungumzia juu ya kitendo cha "kutamani" tu unahesabika kuwa umefanyika DHAMBI (Mathayo 6:27-29, Waebrania 10:28). Tamaa mbaya ni dhambi kama dhambi nyinginezo. Kwa kawaida tamaa huja na ile tamaa huchukua mimba na baadaye huzaa dhambi (Yakobo 1:13-16). Kitendo cha kuangalia picha za ngono hupofusha "FIKRA" nzuri za mtu alizonazo. Mawazo machafu uanza kutawala katika ubongo wako hadi "USHUSHE" huo mzigo ulioko kwenye viungo vyako vya uzazi. Ahaaa ni hatari aiseeee. Wewe unayengalia picha za ngono Kama ndiyo starehe yako unaiharibi nafsi yako "unakuwa zezeta wa akili" Biblia inasema "taa ya Mwili jicho na jicho lako likiwa safi mwili wako wote utakuwa na nuru. Lakini jicho lako likiwa bovu mwili wako wote utakuwa na giza.."(Mathayo 6:22-23). Kwa wale wanandoa ni "MWIKO" kutumia picha za ngono ili kunogesha kufanya Tendo la Ndoa. Wewe mume unaye hapo "chombo" unakiona "live" na kimethibitishwa na Mungu mwenyewe sasa hiyo mipicha ya nini? Kila kiungo Mungu alikiweka kwa ajili ya kusudi maalum kama ni mdomo kwa ajili ya kuongea na kupitisha chakula na si kunyonya sehemu za Siri za mwenzi wako. Mungu ameweka sehemu ya "haja kubwa" kwa ajili ya kutolea uchafu uliotengenezwa na tumbo na si kiungo kingine kiende kukoroga "zege" hilo huo ni uchafu(Ufunuo 22:10-15).

Warumi 1:26:27

“Hivyo Mungu aliwaacha wafuate tamaa zao za aibu, hata wanawake wakabadili matumizi ya asili kwa matumizi yasiyo ya asili; wanaume nao vivyo hivyo waliyaacha matumizi ya mke, ya asili, wakawakiana tamaa, wanaume wakiyatenda yasiyopasa, wakapata nafsini mwao malipo ya upotevu wao yaliyo haki yao.”

3. JINSI YA KUSHINDA DHAMBI YA KUANGALIA PICHA ZA NGONO

PICHA ZA NGONO zinavutia sana kuziangalia ila zina maangamizo makubwa sana katika maisha yako. Lazima ufikie mahali kukata shauri ndani ya Moyo wako kuambatana na Mungu. Kusudi kubwa la shetani kuachilia mambo yake ya NGONO kwenye mitandao ili apate wafuasi wengi zaidi. Hakuna kitu unachoweza kukifanya katika simu za Android wengine wasikitambue. Kila unalolipitia na kuliangalia kwa Siri siku ya siku litaletwa hukumuni na Mungu mwenyewe (Warumi 2:16, Mhubiri 12:14)

USHAURI WAKIVITENDO:

I) Yatie Nuru macho yako - Zaburi 13:3, 19:8 - Yaruhusu macho yako yaingiziwe nuru na Yesu. Chukua muda wa kutosha kuingiza PICHA zinazomhusu Mungu zaidi. Angalia wahubiri mbalimbali.

II) Tazama mambo ya Adili(mema) - Zaburi 17:2-3 - Kuna nguvu kubwa sana tunapokuwa tunaangalia mambo mema. Vipindi vizuri vya neno la Mungu. PICHA zinazojenga siyo zinazoharibu fikra zetu.

III) Kumuomba Mungu afumbue macho yako - Zaburi 119:18, 146:8- Maombi ni muhimu ili kufanya macho yako kuona kusudi la Mungu na Kutambua uwepo wa shetani katika PICHA ZA NGONO.

IV) Weka maneno ya Mungu Mbele za macho yako - Mithali 4:20-21

Wakati wote soma neno la Mungu kupitia kifaa chochote cha ki-electronic ili uweze kumjua Mungu zaidi.

V) Macho yako yatazame Mbele - Mithali 4:25-27

Kutazama Mbele maana yake uwe na maono. Maono ni PICHA au TASWIRA ya Mbele ya maisha yako. Yeremia aliulizwa unaona nini naye akasema "anaona ufito wa mlozi" anaona kitu kizuri (Yeremia 1:11-12).

VI) Pendezwa na njia za Mungu - Mithali 23:26

Kuanzia sasa anza kupendezwa na njia za Mungu katika maisha yako. Acha kuzifuata njia zako katika kuufurahisha mwili wako wa PICHA zisizofaa.

VII) Tafuta watumishi wa Mungu ili wakufundishe - Isaya 48:17, 30:20-21

Kuna mambo ambayo yanatupa shida katika maisha yetu ni vizuri kuwaona waalimu ili watusaidie jinsi ya kutoka katika mtego huo.

VIII) Omba rehema na neema ya Yesu - Waebrania 4:16

Tunahitaji neema ya Mungu ili kushinda Hali hiyo ya kupenda KUANGALIA PICHA ZA NGONO na pia kufunguliwa kutoka katika vifungo hivyo vya pepo wa tamaa na mahaba.

Mungu atakubariki ukipeleka ujumbe huu kwa wengine

Nini sababu inayokufanya uoe sasa? Kosea njia utaelekezwa, lakini sio kuoa.

• Usioe kwa sababu umechoka kula kwa mama lishe>>Mke sio mpishi kama umechoka kula kwa mama lishe jifunze kupika.
• Usioe kwa sababu umechoka kufua na kupika >>Mke sio housemaid, kama umechoka kufua ajiri mtu akufulie.
• Usioe kwa sababu rafiki zako wote wameoa >>Mke sio mashindano maana hataishi na marafiki zako wala sio zawadi kwa wazazi wako bali wewe ndiwe utakayeishi naye.
• Usioe kwa sababu unataka kufungua kanisa sasa unatafuta mama mchungaji
• Usioe kwa sababu wazazi wanakulazimisha maana dada zako wote wameshaolewa.
• Usioe kwa sababu mpenzi au mchumba amepata mimba yako.
• Usioe kwa sababu unataka kumuonyesha msichana aliyekuacha kuwa bado upo juu.
• Usioe kwa sababu unamhurumia msichana uliyenaye ukimuacha atachanganyikiwa.
• Usioe kwa sababu wazazi wako wanampenda na kumkubali msichana huyo.
• Kuliko kumuoa msichana kwa kumhurumia na si kumpenda itapelekea kuteseka moyoni maisha yenu yote ni afadhali umwambie ukweli kungali mapema
• 11: Kuoa ili kujionyesha kuwa ume-move on baada ya kuachwa ni kujikomoa mwenyewe.

Oa ukiwa na uhakika kuwa huyo ndiye chaguo lako pekee na upo tayari kuishi naye katika hali zote, ndio mpango wa Mungu katika maisha yako na ndiye unayempenda kwa moyo wako wote.

By Daniel Burton Mwaseba

Mambo muhimu ya kuyafahamu katika siku ya wapendanao

Siku ya Wapendanao siyo kwa ajili ya kufanya ngono au uzinzi.Hii ni siku inayolenga kuimarisha upendo kati yako na mtu mwingine yeyote. Picha na Maktaba


Kwa ufupi

Siku ya wapendanao ni sikukuu ambayo huadhimishwa ifikapo Februari 14 kila mwaka. Historia yake imeanzia karne ya tatu nchini Italia.

Kuna wanaume na wanawake, leo ni sherehe yao ya kufanya ngono/uzinzi, wakifikiri kwamba ndiyo maana ya siku hii ya Valentine Day, kitu ambacho si kweli.Usahihi ni kwamba siku hii imelenga kuhamasisha watu kupendana, ndiyo kusema kwamba unaweza kuonyesha upendo kwa mtu yeyote, si lazima awe mwenza wako.

Nchini Italia wakati huo kulikuwa na kiongozi aliyeitwa Mfalme Claudius II; aliamini kuwa askari anapooa hawi mkakamavu na pia muda mwingi anawaza kuhusu familia yake zaidi ya kitu kingine chochote. Hivyo alipiga marufuku ndoa kwa askari.

Kitendo hicho hakikuwafurahisha watu wengi, akiwamo Padri Valentino. Kiongozi huyu wa kidini aliendelea kufungisha ndoa kwa siri. Mfalme Claudius alipopata habari hizi aliamuru Valentino akamatwe na kuuawa. Mtakatifu Valentino aliuawa siku na tarehe kama ya leo, ndiyo maana ikatangazwa rasmi kuadhimishwa kwa ajili ya kumkumbuka kama Baba wa Upendo na mtetezi wa wanandoa. Historia zinaonyesha kuwa aliyetangaza rasmi kuadhimisha siku hiyo ni Papa Gelasius.
Aidha, iko simulizi nyingine inayosema kuwa akiwa gerezani Valentino aliandika barua ambayo ilikuwa na salamu za Valentino kwa binti aliyekuja kumsalimia gerezani; mwisho wa barua alihitimisha kwa kusema ‘Kutoka kwa Valentino wako’.
Tangu hapo Valentino anakumbukwa kama mtetezi wa wapendanao na sikukuu yake kuadhimishwa ulimwenguni kote.


ZAIDI KUHUSU SIKU HII

Siku hii inaonekana ni maalumu kwa ajili ya kuonyeshana upendo wa dhati kwa mtu yeyote. Ni siku muhimu na yenye maana kubwa kwa kila mtu, maana upendo hauchagui.

Ingawa wengine wanaweza kuitumia au kuichukulia kwa kadri wanavyotaka, msingi wa siku hii hasa ni kuonyesha upendo kwa watu, si lazima awe mke au mumeo ama mchumba.

Maana na ukweli wa uwepo wa siku hii inayoitwa Valentine’s Day inaharibiwa na baadhi ya watu kwa kuiona kama ni siku ya kufanya ngono/uzinzi. Ukitaka kuthibitisha hili, siyo lazima uende chuo kikuu ili kupata ujuzi wa kujua ukweli, bali tembelea nyumba za wageni zilizo karibu, nyingi utakutana na bango ‘vyumba vimejaa!’

NAMNA INAVYOPASWA

Msingi hasa wa siku hii ni kuonyesha upendo, hii ina maana kuwa unaweza kuonyesha upendo kwa yeyote iwe ni jirani, mzazi au yeyote unayempenda, siyo lazima mpenzi kama ambavyo baadhi ya watu wanafanya.

Waweza kumtumia ujumbe mzuri mtu yeyote unayempenda au hata zawadi, waweza kutembelea yatima, wagonjwa na hata watu wengine wowote; kubwa hasa kwa siku hii ni kuonyesha upendo.

Hata hivyo, kwa sababu ya ukweli kwamba wengi wanaiona kama ni siku ya ngono, ni suala la msingi sana unapotoa zawadi kwa mtu wa jinsi tofauti kuwa makini; angalia zawadi unayoitoa isije ikaharibu siku yako na maisha yako kwa jumla badala ya kukupa furaha, kwa sababu baadhi ya wenza wa wale ambao unaweza kuwapa zawadi wanaweza kutafsiri kama wewe una uhusiano wa kimapenzi na mtu huyo.

Wataalamu mbalimbali wa masuala ya uhusiano, wanasema katika siku kama hii ya leo, ni vizuri walio kwenye uhusiano mbaya kujifunza namna ya kuwa na uhusiano mzuri, kwani ubaya hauna maana katika maisha.

“Hii ni siku muhimu kwa kila mtu kuangalia uhusiano wake na watu wanaomzunguka,” anasema Hi Song, ambaye ni Mtaalamu wa Masuala ya Uhusiano nchini Marekani kutoka Kituo cha Ushauri cha Marriage Life. Anasema kuna ambao huanzisha uhusiano siku hiyo kwa lengo la kupata mtu wa kustarehe naye, hili ni kosa. Kama mtazamo wako ni kutafuta mpenzi mpya na kwenda kustarehe naye utakuwa unakosea sana. Haina maana ya ngono wala anasa na kuharibu fedha kwenye ulevi. Yapo mengi ambayo unaweza kuyafanya kwa lengo la kuifanya siku yako kuwa nzuri.

ONDOA MAWAZO MABAYA

Ondoa fikra mbaya kichwani mwako. Waza kuhusu mema na kupendana kwa dhati, hapo utakuwa umekwenda sawa na maana ya siku hii. Kuna watoto wanaoishi katika mazingira magumu, wazee na wahitaji wengine. Tumia ulichojaliwa kushiriki nao katika siku hii ya leo, badala ya kuwaza ngono au uzinzi.

Siyo lazima iwe fedha, hata chakula na mavazi. Inawezekana una nguo unazodhani hazifai, wape wenzako ambao wanahitaji hapo utakuwa umeonyesha namna unavyotambua na kuiadhimisha kwa usahihi.

By Dismas Lyassa, Mwananchi

NI VEMA UKAYAJUA HAYA KABLA YA KUINGIA KWENYE NDOA

 

1. Sherehe ya Harusi ni ya siku moja tu, na Ndoa ni ya maisha yote. 
2. Mwanamume/Mwanamke aliyezoea kuchepuka kabla ya Ndoa, ataendelea kuchepuka hata baada ya Ndoa. 
3. Upole na ukimya si kiashiria cha tabia njema. 
4. Ukikitaka ambacho hakijawahi milikiwa na mtu yeyote, ni lazima ufanye jambo ambalo halijawahi fanywa na mtu yeyote. 
5. Mungu akitaka kukubariki hukuletea mtu, na Shetani akitaka kukuangamiza hukuletea mtu. 
6. Bora uishi mwenyewe kuliko kuoa ama kuolewa na mtu hasiye sahihi. 
7. Aina tatu za wanaume/Wanawake wa kuepukwa:a) Walevi. b) Malaya. c)Wagomvi.
8. Kuolewa na Mchekeshaji hakutakufanya uwe na Ndoa yenye furaha. 
9. Maneno matatu yanayojenga amani katika Ndoa: a) Nakupenda. b) Samahani. c) Asante. 
10. Kupiga punyeto ni kujiharibu. 
11. Kuoana kabla ya kuwa marafiki ni kama anga bila jua. 
12. Mafanikio ya Ndoa siku zote ni pembetatu: Mungu mmoja - Mume mmoja - Mke mmoja. 
13. Furaha ya kudumu maisha hutegemea na chaguo lako la Ndoa. 
14. Usioe pesa au mali - muoe mtu. 
15. Uchumba uliovunjika ni bora zaidi kuliko Ndoa isiyo na amani na furaha. 
16. Usiweke kipaumbele chako kwa muonekano mzuri wa mwanamke. Hakuna mwanamke mbaya, bali anahitaji kupendezeshwa. 
17. Mapenzi si upofu. Upofu ni kuoa ama kuolewa na mwanamume/mwanamke kwa kigezo tu anakidhi haja zako kingono. 
18. Ukiwa rafiki mwema, utawavutia marafiki wema. 
19. Asili ya mikono inayojali ni moyo unaojali. 

Iepuke Ndoa mbaya kabla haijaanza.

Nawatakia Siku njema ndugu/jamaa na marafiki wote

By Daniel Burton Mwaseba

Hizi ndizo kazi ambazo unaweza pata wanawake wa kuoa kibongo bongo

• Mawakala wa M-Pesa, Tigo Pesa, Airtel money: Hebu jaribu kupata picha kila siku wakala wa huduma ya pesa kwenye simu anaandika namba ngapi za simu anapowapa huduma hiyo? Lakini katu huwezi kuta wakiwapigia simu kuwataka kimapenzi au kwa ajili ya kuanzisha mahusiano nao kitu ambacho ni toffauti na pale wakala anapokuwa wa jinsia ya kiume.
• Walimu: Mwalimu ni mtu muhimu sana katika jamii kwani ndio mlezi wa pili wa mtoto kwani ndie ambae hukaa na watoto wetu kwa muda mwingi zaidi kuliko hata mzazi husika wa mtoto. Hebu fikiria ni mangapi ambayo yanamkuta akiwa na mtoto wako? Lakini ni mara chache sana hatokuwa mwaminifu katika kuhakishisha mtoto wako anapata elimu na malezi bora.
• Manesi:  Pia umuhimu wake katika jamii kila mtu anafahamu, nadhani unaweza ukawa shahidi yangu katika hili kama umeshawahi kukutana na ugonjwa na ukafikisha hospitali kwa jinsi ulivyopokelewa kama anakufahamu au ni ndugu yako wa damu na kuhakikisha unapata huduma salama. Siku zote wamekuwa ni wapole na watu wenye kufanya kazi yao katika uadilifu mkubwa.
• Wahasibu: Mhasibu ni mtu anayetunza pesa katika taasisi fulani au kikundi fulani. Watu hawa wanauwezo mkubwa sana wa kuhakikisha kile kilichopangwa kutumika ndicho kinatumika kufuatia bajeti husika. Kama wakuwa na uwezo wa kuweka usawa mahsusi katika mambo ya fedha basi naamini hata katika familia watakuwa na uwezo huo wa kuhakikisha kuwa familia inakuwa katika hali ya usawa
  
• Wapishi hotelini/mgahawa: Ni mara ngapi umeweza hudhuria maeneo mbalimbali ambako chakula huuzwa. Je kunautofauti gani na pale unapokula nyumbani? Ikatokea ukamuuliza  mtu kuhusiana na chakula kizuri au kitamu ambacho amewahi kula lazima atarejea katika hoteli ambayo amewahi kula na si nyumbani labda kwa mke wake au binti yake wa kazi, atakuambia ni kile alichowahi kula mgahawani/hotelini

Nadhani utakubaliana nami juu ya ukweli huu kuhusiana na wanawake wakuoa. Endelea kutufuatilia Mwanaharakati Mzalendo kwa  habari zaidi

Mambo muhimu matano (5)ya kufanya ukukutana na mpenzi wako wa zamani (X)

1. KUWA MUWAZI. Kama upo tayari kuongea na ex wako mkikutana, akuulizapo swali lolote mjibu inavyotakiwa kwa majibu mafupi yasiyo ya kubabaisha yenye ukweli mtupu. Kama ni ndiyo 'ndiyo' na kama ni hapana 'hapana' itakufanya kujenga utu wako na kukupa kujiamini.
2. USIJITONGOZESHE. Kama umeshaachana na mpenzi wako mpya kwa sababu ya huyo mpenzi wako wa zamani usifanye mambo ya kujitongozesha kama vile kukaa naye karibu kumchekea chekea au kumtega kwa namna yeyote ile kama ikitokea bado unampenda muache yeye akuanze na umsumbue katika kumjibu kwa sababu kama mlishaachana huna hakika lile kosa halitajirudia mkirudiana.
3. KUWA NA MAWAZO CHANYA. Wengi wanapokuwa pamoja na wapenzi wao waliopita hufikiria negative hujiuliza anawaza nini? Ananiona mbaya? Vipi kama anakuja kunionesha mpenzi wake mpya? Haya ni maswali machache yanayowapitia wengi vichwani mwao. Lakini kama ukiwa na mawazo chanaya unaweza kujiamini na uwezo hata wa kumface huyo mpenzi wako aliyepita kwa hiyo uwapo na ex wako fikiria mawazo chanya.
4. RELAX. Muda mwingi watu mnapokutana na wapenzi wenu waliopita huwa mnapanic kitu ambacho unatakiwa kufanya ni kutulia na kuvuta hewa nyingi ndani na kutoa nje hii hujenga kujiamini na kuondoa hofu iliyojengeka usoni mwako.
5. USIONESHE KUKOSA FURAHA KATIKA PENZI LAKO LA SASA. Usimpe nafasi x wako kujiona yeye ni muhimu sana katika maisha yako yaani ajione yeye alikuwa ni furaha yako ya pekee hata kama huyu wa sasa hana tofauti na yeye lakini jitahidi kujiweka sawa na kumuonehsa kuwa hakuna tatizo huyu wa zamani ili kujenga kujiamini kwako kila mnapozungumzia habari za mahusiano.

How a woman can live a happier life with her husband (Jinsi mwanamke anvyoweza kuishi na mumewe maisha ya furaha)

***What A Father Told His Daughter A Day Before Her Wedding***

My Daughter, tomorrow you will stop bearing my name. You will be happily married to the man you love. Well, I have fulfilled my purpose, it is now time for you to start fulfilling yours.

From your childhood, I have raised you well by the grace of God but before you say I do, there are few things I need to tell you about living with a man and being married.

Do you remember when you wrote your ACSEE exams? You came to me and I gave you 20,000 Tshs for the registration?

Well, even though I gave it to you, the money was not mine.

I know you always thought I paid the fees. The truth is, I was broke, but your mother gave me the money. She could have given it to you but she decided to give it to me to give to you.

Support your husband.

Some times things will get tough, he will be frustrated.

Even though he acts tough, in his mind he has fears, he fears you may not value him anymore because he has fallen.

That is the time to get behind him and support him!

The best way to show your husband you love him is to respect him! 

You may argue with him, you may disagree but at the end of the day, let him know he has your respect.

Do you remember the day I screamed at your mother? 

What did she do?

She was quiet! Do you also remember the day she screamed at me?

What did I do? I was quiet!

My daughter learn to be quiet sometimes when your husband is angry.

When one person is hot, the other should be cool. If two are always screaming at same time, that is how big problems start in marriage.

The first thing to know about your husband is his favourite food. If he has more than one then keep them at the back of your mind. Don't let him ask for it, always prepare it for him.

There was a day your mother caught me touching a woman's hand affectionately.

It was lustful but I was not yet cheating on your mum. 

When she saw us… she didn't fight the lady, she quietly left.

I was afraid of going home because all hell will break lose. But when I got home she said nothing. She served me my food.

Guilt was taking control over me.

I started begging.

From that day, I never looked at a woman two times. Who knows? 

If she had fought and threatened me… maybe I could have run away from the fight into the arms of the lady.

Sometimes silence brings better solution than fight.

Remember those Indian and American love movies? 

And those too sweet Nollywood films on African magic? 

Forget them! Don’t expect your married life to be that way.

Forget those romantic novels you read while you were 18.

The reality of life is quite different from fictions.

One important last thing I want to tell you After our wedding, things were tough and your mum had to work two jobs to support us. I was working as well. I get home 6pm while she gets home 8pm tired.

But when we get to bed, she will not refuse me my 'night food'. That is how you were born.

Don't deny your husband of his 'night food'. You know what I mean. Be a good wife.

You will always be Daddy’s girl..

MAYAI YA KWARE KAMA KIKOMBE CHA BABU WA LOLIONDO

Hivi sasa kumeibuka tiba ya ‘mayai ya kwale’ ambayo inavuma kila kona na imekuwa gumzo kila mahali. Tiba hii ni ya kimaajabu kwani uvumi uliopo ni kwamba mayai ya kwale yana uwezo wa kutibu magonjwa yote sugu.

Kasi ya kushauri wagonjwa na hata wasio wagonjwa kutumia mayai haya badala ya kwenda hospitali kwa uchunguzi wa afya zao inaongezeka na maelekezo yanayopatikana mitaani juu ya kutumia tiba hii ni ya ajabu na yanatofautiana kutoka mtu mmoja hadi mwingine. Nilishuhudia mtu mmoja akimwelekeza mgonjwa kuwa alipaswa kuyapasua mayai na kuyapondaponda pamoja na magamba yake na kisha ayanywe katika hali ya ubichi. Mwingine aliambiwa ayapasue na kisha ayakoroge pamoja na asali au maziwa kisha anywe, wengine wanaelekezwa kuyachemsha kama mayai ya kawaida na kisha kula kiini cha ndani. Uvumi huu unaenea kwa kasi mitaani.

Kutokana na kuvuma kwa tiba hii, mayai haya hivi sasa yanaonekana kusakwa kila mahali na yanauzwa kati ya Sh15,000 hadi 20,000 kwa trei.

Uvumi wa tiba hii hauna tofauti na ule uliozuka nchini juu tiba maarufu kama ‘kikombe cha Babu’. Watu wengi walikatisha matibabu kwenye hospitali mbalimbali na kuamua kwenda Kijiji cha Samunge kwenda kupata kikombe cha babu na kufanya kuwe na misururu mirefu ya watu waliokesha usiku na mchana. Hii ilizusha adha kubwa hasa kutokana na kutokuwepo na maandalizi ya vyoo hivyo watu kujisaidia ovyo vichakani.

Adha ya safari ndefu na kukaa kwenye foleni kwa zaidi ya siku tatu, kulifanya wenye afya mbaya kushindwa kuhimili na hata kupoteza maisha.

Katika mazingira haya ya kuibuka tiba za ajabuajabu ambazo hazijathibitishwa kitaalamu, ni vyema Wizara ya Afya na Ustawi wa Jamii ikatoa ufafanuzi.

Isisubiri hadi watu wapoteze maisha halafu ndiyo ianze kuja na maelekezo tena yanayopingana na yale ambayo jamii inaamini. Kuchelewa kunafanya wengi wapoteze fedha na hata kuacha tiba sahihi na kukimbilia kitu ambacho kinavumishwa tu.

Serikali haipaswi kukaa kimya wakati watu wakiendelea kutibiana kwa vitu ambavyo havijathibitishwa kitaalamu.Kama Serikali ingechukua hatua mapema, watu wasingepoteza maisha kupitia kikombe cha babu.

Uvumi huu wa tiba ya mayai ya kwale hauna tofauti na Kikombe cha Babu.

Katika ulimwengu huu wa utandawazi na soko huria, ni kawaida kusikia mambo mapya yakiibuka kila kukicha, lakini kama mambo hayo yanagusa afya zetu, hatuna budi kuwa makini na waangalifu zaidi.

WANAWAKE WENGI HUOLEWA KWA SABABU HIZI

BAADHI ya wanawake huolewa kwa sababu zifuatazo
1. Kukataliwa na aliyekuwa akimtaka
2. Kuondoa mkosi
3. Kujionesha kwa wanawake wenzie
4. Kujaribu maisha ya ndoa
5. Kuwania kitu fulani kwa mume au kazini kwake
6. Kukwepa maisha ya kwao
7. Kumjaribu mwanaume kama anajua mambo
8. Kuiga (kama alivyoolewa fulani)
9. Kumkomoa zilipendwa wake na
10. Kutengeneza historia
Ndoa za namna hii huwa hazidumu na wanawake
wa aina hiyo hata mnapogombana huwa
wanarudi makwao. Ndoa haijaribiwi-Ndoa ni
maisha

SABABU NA JINSI YA KUJIKINGA NA UGONJWA WA KISUKAZI

Tunasisitizwa sana kufanya mazoezi kwa takriban nusu saa kwa siku na ambayo mtu anatoa jasho na moyo kumwenda mbio. Hiyo ni kwa ajili ya kusaidia misuli ya miguu, tumbo, kifua, mgongo na mikono kutumia kiasi cha sukari kinachozalishwa mwilini. Kadhalika, wataalamu wanasisitiza sana kula vyakula visivyokobolewa, ikiwamo kula dona badala ya sembe, ulezi, mtama na matunda. Watu wapunguze na ikiwezekana kuacha kunywa vimiminika vyenye sukari, ikiwamo juice, soda, pombe na vinginevyo. Na hiyo ni kwasababu vinywaji hivyo havikai tumboni na badala yake huenda moja kwa moja kwenye utumbo mwembamba na kulazimisha kongosho linalozalisha kemikali ya insulin kufanya kazi kwa kiwango cha juu kuliko ilivyo kawaida. Vyakula visivyokobolewa vina faida sana kwani vinachukua muda wa kutosha kutoka kwenye tumbo na kwenda kwenye utumbo mwembamba hatimaye kuvunjwavunjwa kwa ajili ya kutumika mwilini.
Kadhalika makapi yatokanayo na hivyo vyakula hutuzuia kupata kansa ya utumbo. La ajabu wametoa takwimu za kutisha kwani ulaya kwasababu wanakula vyakula vilivyokobolewa wanapata kansa ya utumbo kuliko nchi au bara la afrika, na kansa hiyo ni ya nne kwa kusababisha vifo barani ulaya na amerika.
Tafadhalini, tujihadhari kwa afya zetu; mazoezi ni muhimu, vyakula viwe na uasilia wake, mtu aliye na mwenza wake afanye tendo la ndoa kwa kadiri inavyowezekana kwani ni sehemu ya mazoezi, tubadili mifumo ya maisha yetu na kukaa tu bila kujishughulisha mili yetu.
Tunawatakia wiki njema na afya njema.

JIHADHARI! KINGA NI BORA KULIKO TIBA.

THIS IS HOW TO CONFESS YOUR LOVE

1. Be sure that the one you want to confess to is truly the right person for you, not just some random person that has good looks you saw on the street.
2. Find a good place to confess. A quiet place with just the two of you, if possible, would be a great example.
3. Ask him/her if you two can meet at the area you want to tell your feelings.
4. Be prepared for everything! Once you two meet, there is no turning back!
5. Find a reasonable day to tell him/her. A romantic day would be Valentine’s Day, or if you want it to be rainy or snowing, fall and winter would be great!

TRUE LOVE IS WHAT EVERYONE NEEDS

True Love Is Something That Everyone Wants To Feel!! 
 

What is true love? The true love is something that everyone wants to feel, but it is a fact that only a little part of the people has the luck to meet her. What is actually the true love? That is the most beautiful thing that can happen to someone, because that is one shared feeling. When you meet someone and fall in love with him that is not the true love still. If this person shares your feelings that still is not the true love.

But it is true that this is the first step to that amazing feeling. The true love is something more then falling in love. She is at the first place trust, because without him every relationship is fated and can’t survive a long time. When you have trust in your partner you are anxiety-free. That must be shared because when the one person in the relationship believes in the other, but the other don’t do this, this leads to problems and probably to broke up. The true love is a friendship. You must to can be not only lover to your partner, you must be his friend.

Your partner must be the man from who you can ask for advice and who you can say your secrets, because he will not say to no one else this things, he wouldn’t be betrayed you. It is a true love when you can talk about everything with the person who you are in love with. Exactly the talking is the most important thing for the true love, because when the partners talk, they can find a decision to every problem, which they have. One big part of the couples breaking up, because they can’t or don’t want to talk. When the love is a true love, she can survive everything. Every problem is a test for the feelings and strength of one relationship. The true love is help. When you really love someone you are ready to help him right away and to do everything for him.

Of course this must be shared. The true love is care, because when you are in love with someone you make everything that your partner can feel fine and loved. When the love is a true love this fact automatically eliminates the egoism, because now you are not alone and you must thing about the wishes, which have the person with who you are. When you love someone you want to make him happy. The true love means support too. The feeling when you know that by you stands someone who loves you and every time will support you, is really great. One love is true when the two in the relationship are frank and honest.

The true love is aspiration for acquaintance of the man who you are in love with. When you became well familiarize with your partner, you will find his entire blemish, but you must not aspire to remove them. If your partner’s love to you is real he will make everything possible to remove them himself. When two people can make so that their character fit and when they can make compromises that mean that these people love each other and their love is a true love. To find the true love means to find a perfect match for you, your half. The people are saying that everyone has a half somewhere over the world, but these who meet her are only a little part.

When the love is shared, she is a true lover and makes you one better person and the world look like a better place for a living. When you and your partner have the same thinking and the same conception for the life, you can be together a very long time. The true love is when two people want to spend their time together in loving each other and when their love survives all of the obstacles, which they meet during their life together. Furthermore, if the people are able to keep their love the same as it was in the beginning through out the years, you can say that this is true love.

Remember that finding the true love of your life is really hard and you may need more than one lifetime to make that happen, but in the end it will be worth it.  
Make sure that you will never stop searching for the true love, because there is no set date that you will find it and also the true love is likely to appear in odd circumstances.
 Written by Aysha Msigwa

10 REASONS OF HAPPY COUPLES

These are simple habits that are common among all happy couples. Enjoy!

What does it take to be happy in a relationship? If you’re working to improve your marriage, here are the 10 habits of happy couples.

1. Go to bed at the same time: Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn’t wait to go to bed with each other to make love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps.
2. Cultivate common interests: After the passion settles down, it’s common to realize that you have few interests in common. But don’t minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.
3. Walk hand in hand or side by side: Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand in hand or side by side. They know it’s more important to be with their partner than to see the sights along the way. 
4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode: If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can’t resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.
5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong: If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.
6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work: Our skin has a memory of “good touch” (loved), “bad touch” (abused) and “no touch” (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the “good touch,” which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world. 
7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning: This is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances. 
8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel: This tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident. 
9. Do a “weather” check during the day: Call your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust expectations so that you’re more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you. 
10. Be proud to be seen with your partner: Happy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact — hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off but rather just saying that they belong with each other.

Happy couples have different habits than unhappy couples. A habit is a discrete behavior that you do automatically and that takes little effort to maintain. It takes 21 days of daily repetition of a new a behavior to become a habit. So select one of the behaviors in the list above to do for 21 days and voila, it will become a habit…and make you happier as a couple. And if you fall off the wagon, don’t despair, just apologize to your partner, ask their forgiveness and recommit yourself to getting back in the habit.